Friendships! ns missed y’all while ns was on functioning on the West Coast, but significant shout-out to mine homette Rae Sanni for spanning me top top The actual Housewives that Atlanta recap front. I’m so happy come be ago just in time for Valentine’s Day. And since you asked just how my V-day went, I must tell you. Ns took a snapshot of myself next to a cardboard cutout the Michael Fassbender and sent it to my family members with the caption: “Me & mine future infant daddy sending you love before we go do a tiny human the complexion the Ice-T.” If you assumed I to be going to perform anything much less ignorant than that, then you don’t know me at all.

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On with the show. Tonight’s illustration “Peaches of the Caribbean” has whatever I love and need indigenous RHOA: Cynthia/Kenya friendship drama, civilization spreading trifling rumors around a housewife’s husband, loads of drinking and also partying, and also a really awkward dinner. All and all, this is a really solid episode, for this reason let’s get into it.

We open up with anyone (minus Kenya and also her bae Matt) loading top top a bus to go to Kingston. Thanks to seeing just how chummy Peter and also Malorie room towards every other, everyone on the bus is currently a current graduate from This Don’t do No feeling University. Look, I recognize it seems choose Peter and Malorie have both adjusted their ways, however the structure of their partnership was constructed on messiness — Mal do the efforts to stop the wedding, Peter always having some slick to say to she — so color me unimpressed by your sudden change of heart in the direction of one another. Ns betting that by the finish of this trip, they’ll be at every other’s throats again.

Speaking of Kenya, she still thinks that after gift friends with Cynthia because that the length of a Rachael beam 30 minutes or less meal, she’s earned the location of “Best Friend.” She bails top top attending the trip to Kingston and she goes come the spa with her friend instead, i m sorry I’m it s okay with due to the fact that Matt is hot. Back on the bus, Cynthia and Sheree gain into a discussion since as every usual, Sheree has actually her sleep in Cynthia and also Kenya’s friendship. Then, Cynthia seems like she’s ~ above the verge that tears. Girl, Kenya is no worth it. If girlfriend presented she to one appraiser top top Antiques Roadshow, Kenya would be worth -6,700 tears.

The bus arrives to Kingston and Peter’s family is therefore cute! see him with household makes me think the he could be a good guy. Lock all work out in for a gigantic feast with tons of seafood, veggies, and also fish eyes. Difficult pass top top the fish eyes. Kim invites Peter’s family to be background in the commercial. LOL. Can we stop acting favor this advertising is important? No? Okay, climate I want them all to break foot on the ’mercial. The RHOA crew leave Kingston and also return to Ocho Rios to have actually a second dinner. As they’re checking out the food, Porsha is like, “Oooh, look in ~ this fish y’all like.” Cynthia is like, “Those space plantains.”


Fish and plantains watch nothing alike. I blame our school system for this. Relocating on. Matt, Peter, Bob, and Gregg are having actually boring guy time, mainly due to the fact that the guys on this show are type of bland. Sorry not sorry. Thankfully, we jump ago to the ladies and NeNe swings by Kenya’s room. NeNe states she’s under for her, Kenya, and Cynthia to it is in friends:


Kenya is no buying it and also thinks NeNe simply came ~ above this pilgrimage to cause drama — a-doy! — and shockingly, NeNe goes come bat because that Cynthia. She invites she to the girl drinks to repair their relationship. This new NeNe is … mature? i don’t know just how to feel about that. The two join the remainder of the ladies and Kenya says she’s coming to the ’mercial shoot. We jump ago to the guys and naturally, because Matt is new to the crew, the remainder of the fellas desire to vet him and make certain he’s not a key of Metamucil-infused boo-boo. Matt is being standoffish, though. When he speak them he doesn’t have any kids, they’re all shocked. Gregg is like, “Is there something wrong v you?” It’s dubbed condoms and also pulling out, Gregg. It’s really that simple to not make a baby. Anyway, Matt doesn’t like being grilled and Peter tells him come chill with the attitude and also then Matt storms off.


When everyone is trying to it is in the alpha male, i guess this sorts of “pissing contests” happen. Ago to the gals. They are gossiping about Kim’s husband, Chris. Appropriate out the gate, Phaedra says that he seems “sassy,” and also they think he’s too protective that Kim, and Kenya is like, “Y’all understand everyone calls the Chrissy,” and implies he’s gay. They’re every cackling. Meanwhile, Cynthia and also Sheree space in the cut like:


And ns don’t blame them. There is NO means this trifling and petty conversation i will not ~ get earlier to Kim and Chris. IDK. I’m just not a fan of world being pertained to with various other people’s sexuality and sexual preferences. And furthermore, the bothersome since if a man is not hypermasculine — specifically a black color dude — the joke is he’s not a man, which is insulting because GAY males ARE MEN. Just let chris live. He has actually done nothing come them and all they carry out is joke around him behind his back. Two thumbs down, ladies. Y’all as well grown for this.

It’s currently the day of the ’mercial. Kim is killing it and everything is pretty much smooth sailing. That looking really good. UGH. And then it seems choose it’s around to rain best as everyone else is in transit to perform. That. Sucks. Yet also, why would certainly you schedule a shoot to be done in at some point without a backup plan? That renders no sense, especially due to the fact that they’ve remained in Jamaica for a few days. Anyway, the rain seems to it is in holding off and also the shoot continues to happen and, of course, Kenya is no being supportive and then simply wades out right into the s in a paddle boat with Matt. Anyway, the shoot finishes. Anyone is happy and they all decide to have actually a wrap party.

Meanwhile, Matt speak Kenya that he doesn’t choose Peter and Gregg because that throwing shade. But that’s what happens once you sign up with a new group. Not certain why precisely Matt acquired so mad, but I’ll be damned if this lame drama is walking to it is in a significant plot point. Matt is monotone and also doesn’t have any type of comebacks. Ns not sure why that is below besides his looks.

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Later the night, Oliver arrives. The seems an extremely sweet and if he deserve to put up with Porsha, climate bless him. She tells him, “You, me, and also Phaedra space going to have a threesome,” and you can see in his eyes that he obtained a boner and then she goes, “But as with friendship-style.” cut to me playing “Taps” turn off my iPhone due to the fact that his boner just died, y’all. Porsha. PORSHA! You cannot tell a right dude friend wanna do a threesome and then be like, “JK.” the is blue-ball hell and he deserves better than gift teased favor that. On the add to side, if anyone from the Blue Man group gets sick, one of Oliver’s balls have the right to sub in. Sorry, y’all. I had actually to walk there. (No, i didn’t.)

Then Porsha goes, “You’ll be sleeping in this room and I’ll be resting over there.”


GIIIIIIRL, you must go ahead and break you turn off a piece of that Cinnamon Toast Crunch. This dude flew JetBlue coach because that you and you’re in Jamaica. Girlfriend should exclusively be having sex and also only acquisition breaks to drink Vitamin Water Zero to restore your electrolytes. Relocating on. That wrap party time! Everyone seems to be in a good mood. Matt’s feelings are still hurt native the hazing, yet it seems choose he’s walking to do amends through Peter. Yet who cares about that? mine girl Sheree sits down through all the ladies and is like, “Kim, human being were talking around your husband.”


Guess what y’all? Diamonds room forever and this LMAO is forever. There was NO require for Sheree to carry that up, but I’m so happy she did. The remainder of the females were being fake as hell, being every polite around Chris when they to be talking about him like a dog the night before. As soon as are lock going to learn to no say anything around Sheree? Sheree, you space a nationwide treasure. Ns love you.

Alrighty, what did girlfriend think that tonight’s episode? exactly how do girlfriend feel around the chris rumors? and also are you end Kenya and also Cynthia continuous DTR’ing your friendship? just how do friend think this plunder party is going to end? Happy Valentine’s Day, boo!